the little guys

I went to arena football game tonight with my family. I realized that even though we fight and yell and sometimes things just seem to get so awful between us, we can always have a fun time together. I also learned that sometimes it's fun to experience random and odd and seemingly useless things just for the sake of experiencing them. I learned what arena football even is, and I learned that Isaac is capable of making really lame/clever jokes and that Abram found the greatest joy when he spotted a large Ford logo on the floor and proceeded to lay down on dirty concrete to have his picture taken with it.

Somehow, I always end up taking care of him. And tonight I realized that I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being his friend who he turns to in his time of need. I may not be his smartest or funniest or hottest or closest friend ever again, but he trusts me. Even though what he's done gives me pretty legitimate reason to not give a crap, I still help him and in the process find about more reasons why I should dislike him. But I forgive him and let it go. I have nothing to gain by chasing our past and everything to gain by looking to our future. Well, not everything, but I'm okay with that now too. It took hearing it from her to know how sorry and flawed he is, and that's why I loved him. He would've done the same for me, and that's why I helped him, both of them actually. I hope they work out. I really, honestly do. "I know this much is true.."

I'm mostly recovered! Take that, stupid kidney stone! But alas, I have perhaps an even more stressful week ahead of me: trying to get caught up on finals reviews and make up 5-10 days of attendance school during the last Hoover Dam week of school. If my kidneys didn't kill me, I might be able to survive this.