I CANNOT GET OVER HOW ATTRACTIVE HE IS IN THE WHOLE SCENE

Wet hair will be my downfall.

Thoughts whilst practicing euphonium:

It needs a name. I don't like playing a horn with no name.

That banana bread was really good. Can I haz more?

I wonder if there's a bus that will get me to AF by 7pm tomorrow.

Oh crap, there's early morning practice tomorrow.

Dang, I am hungry.

Miller, euphoniums do not like high As. At all. Not even in the slightest.

Where's Ellie or Davis when you need your spit valve yanked out?

My horn's cold now. Maybe I shouldn't be blogging right now...

I'M SO HUNGRY.

I really can't decide if I should try out for drum major. You guys wanna help me on that one?

I'm so screwed.

Why am I so immensely stupid?

Tonight, I wish I could cry myself to sleep.

But not for myself. For everyone else who's so sad, so very sad, and won't tell me why. For everyone I can't help and want to so badly. For the few who I have stopped caring about and the few that I can never stop caring about. For Vincent Van Gogh and the Doctor and poor, poor Rory. For Preethi getting lectured on her nonexistant failures and for Jenna wanting to fly me back and for Kristian's abandonment by none other than me. For all the chinabears. For my entire family. For all the people in the world who have lost love and lost hope and lost their favorite pen. For Hazel and Augustus. For the one half of my sweet Micaiah. And then maybe, just one little tear for the girl who wanted to run out of Young Women's screaming and flailing, who wants nothing more than to go on a nice, little, unimportant date, who doesn't understand Precalculus and who can't for the world figure out her history project or her satire on homosexuality, who wishes to no longer be the new girl in two senses, who couldn't see John or Hank for herself, who seems to think only of the one she keeps managing to lose, who happens to be me. I only want one tear for myself. I want to cry the rest for y'all.

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Yesterday afternoon was glorious. After school, I basically just laid on the band hall floor with Sabrina and Chris and we laughed about chinabears and how it's our duty to drink milk in order to save the universe and looked at xkcd comics I had saved on my iPod. It was just so much fun, and I loved being able to have friends and to be friends with a boy and a girl and to not care that we got weird looks when we told innocent bystanders that cause of the chinabears' extinction.

Today was our eval show. I did really great I think, but was actually quite disappointed with most of the day. I'll talk about it on sl prob tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I'm going to struggle with precalc and write a satire on rooting out homosexuality. Also, I'll struggle with the fact that yesterday (today) was Micaiah's 19th birthday. AND I'LL HOPEFULLY PLAN SOME MORE WITH PREETHI AND JENNA AND IT WILL BE GREAT.

It seems this is a blog dedicated to my every complaint.

It snowed the tiniest bit. It was far too much and certainly not enough.

Getting more and more weird looks every time Taylor stops me to talk about HIMYM or The Sasquatch Gang. I'm not sure if I'm just imagining it or something, but it's pissing me off.

So much anger coming from my brother. I hate it. I hate it so much.

English is no longer enjoyable thanks to my student teacher.

I'm going bowling with the Laurels (just the freaking exclusive Laurels), and I was hoping to text Micaiah while I sat in the corner pretending to enjoy myself since he had texted to me a ": D" face in response to one of our inside jokes that came up today in English but hasn't responded to anything else. I'm sure he's just busy.

Amy tried to seduce the Doctor, what the hell.

Did I forget to mention that I slept through my phone and clock's alarm and didn't wake up til Clarissa called me at 6:20 and I ended up being almost an hour and a half late to practice? Yeah.

The Present/Revenge

I have the best friend in the world

Change

Sometimes I wish I could just make people do what I wanted. I know that's terrible, but I'd use it for good, I'd like to think. I'd use it to make brother stop doing horrible things to himself and others and to make Micaiah be able to call and truthfully say that everything is alright and that he doesn't hate himself and to make whoever writes Once Upon a Time being Graham back from the dead. All noble things.

I'm a terrible person.

If only based on the fact that I just might hate my brother.

What happens when socializing becomes a sin and Emma overthinks everything

I basically spent the entirety of guard class today talking to Taylor (couldn't decide whether to actually use him name or not, but decided to since nobody reads this anyway) who was skipping Jazz band. We talked about band and the different states we came from and he found out I'm not a sophomore and I found out how he thinks this one girl is a little demon covered in a human skin suit and he gave me advice on the ACT and told me that I simply must see How I Met Your Mother and so on and so forth. It was just simply grand.

Except for the fact that I felt a bit anxious about our friendship (as I have all week since I've seen him and had good to great conversations with him at least once every single day). In English, the student teacher is making us do this weird journal project, so today I wrote about what a pleasant time we had and how I was worried that some of the girls would freak out since he's dating a captain and since we were being so friendly and since I certainly got put off by watching Micaiah and Stupid Jessica sitting up front chatting it up while I was working and so if no one else got mad then Sabrina might at least be annoyed or something. I ended up just trying to tell myself that it was perfectly acceptable and nothing to worry about since I certainly don't like him that way and since he is quite obviously enamoured with his dear Sabrina, as he seems to call her.

But sure enough, after school, a dumb girl entered my conversation as I was telling Sam how Taylor found out I'm a junior. This dumb girl jumped in and pretended to be shocked at such a fact and we laughed since she just found out recently and it was embarrassing for her and really funny. Then she was like "I saw you guys talking. You were talking for the whole entire period" in this kind of weird voice and I was like "yeah... we were." and she's like "I bet it was fun" while kind of glancing down at me condescendingly so I sat up and said "yes, it was indeed" politely but firmly, praying she wasn't gonna give crap, to which she said "it certainly looked like it was" as if I were practically climbing on his lap and he was all over me (ew gosh that's a horrible mental picture ew ew ew ew ew I can't think about that).

I mean, seriously? What the heck did I do? I was talking to my friend for maybe 45 minutes. Who cares if he's a boy or a senior or dating the captain? We were freaking talking right in front of the entire Open Guard and all their staff including Tiff and some of the A Guard girls. I mean, seriously? We weren't flirting and I sat hugging my knees for the majority of the time since my shirt was kind of tight and didn't want to appear promiscuous (partly because I didn't want other girls to think that I was being as such and the other partly because I figured Taylor didn't want to look at chest and that I didn't want him to if the thought happened to cross his mind). The only thing that came remotely close to flirting was when he said "if I guy ever tells you that you're pretty, don't tell him to shut up." That was it. That was all freaking it.

Things That Never Would Have Happened if my Mother had Allowed Me to Go to the Morning Session of Attendance School

I am most probably going to be late to guard tonight because my mother is at the hospital with my brother about that stupid tack. Maybe I should text Daryl about it. Oh wait, I don't have my phone ever since the mishap involving a borrower, long lines, and sick stomachs (that was just me being anxious, not a tragically heroic dash through a river of vomit). But it's okay, now that my stomach is fine and I've got a four hour headache hanging out with me. Wow, am I a complainer or what?

This day just keeps getting better and better (sarcastic, then earnestly true, then miserably sarcastic again)

After two sessions of attendance school and falling asleep in all my classes and having to walk from school to State to catch a bus in the cold, I got home to find my copy of The Fault in Our Stars and chicken bake for dinner and mini ice cream that comes with its own spoon, I realized I left my equipment at school with early morning practice tomorrow at the junior high and with no one able to lend me a rifle except those who are not able to be contacted. I realize now that I have three extra flags I could choose from and my old 39" rifle I could fumble around with, but I just want nothing more than to read my book through the night and not have to go anywhere for the rest of the month. That would be really quite fantastic.

But hey, at least I have the book, eh? (not sure where the picture is located in the post since my iPod isn't cool enough to show me)

Why not start out with a derp face?

This a beginning and, if I'm lucky, not an end. I was inspired by the wonderful Janelle's wonderful blog to have real blog again. For though I love tumblr with all my heart and soul, it's harder to just talk about your life on it. Even on Something Legendary, which seems to bare my inner soul, one can really truly understand if they're... Well, Darcy. This is just a blog for me to rant on and to maybe post pictures and to just talk, mostly to myself, since I don't really care if anyone cares about this.