The Lost Solution

I don't want to sleep tonight because I don't want to wake up tomorrow because it's not going to be a good day.

My mom says I'm being over dramatic. I say say I'm being optimistic (and then laugh because I know how ridiculous I'm being).

I have quiz in Latin on the one concept I can't seem to grasp. We're starting out ten-page research papers tomorrow. I have to find a time and place to practice/totally perfect my quad. I have to console myself for being a terrible human being. I have to go to my job that grows increasingly more confusing/boring/lonely every time I go. I have to hope that my Latin group is meeting to film our movie or else I'm screwed. If we do meet, I'll have to deal with that bucket of fun. But the absolute worst part of tomorrow is that I don't get to go to jazz band.

In itself, it's probably not the worst thing ever. But jazz band used to give me such hope. I used to sit in there, soaking up the music, smiling when they'd hit a certain note, giggling if there was a certain section that gave me goosebumps. Seeing my friends work so hard to make something fantastic was so brilliant, and adding Clint and Miller in just made it fun for me to watch. When they'd finish early or have a homework day, I'd chat with Cameron, laugh with Logan, get to know Natalie and Jacob and Brayden better. I'd walk with Sabrina on the way to Latin, absorbed in their Latin song that would be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Being in that class made me forget my troubles and focus on the talents and beauty of my friends and their music.

I've lost that bright spot in my day, and what's worse, I lost it to stupid Fitness For Life. That class makes me hurt, physically and emotionally. It is the exact opposite of the therapeutic jazz band. I am this close to seeing if I can just get a GED in order to not need to take PE.

Obviously, I read Edgar Allen Poe to make myself feel better. I am in such a good mood now.

Clearly.