The days are far too long and yet never long enough.

Band festival and colorguard competition yesterday. Such a freakishly exhausting day, but pretty great. Taylor and Will snuck me and Kenzie on the wind symphony bus, and Taylor showed me beautiful DCI shows and "Marcel the Shell with Shoes On" and talked about lungs and Boy Scouts and sang Kelly Clarkson in his falsetto. Janellie was my constant partner for much of the day, singing songs and listening to my problematic rants and letting me chill in her car. My mother and I thought ideas for outfits for the dance and went foraging for fast food. I caught both of tosses, leading to an accidental smile.

Today was the special needs sacrament. It was great. I almost started crying, and that's saying something. I was planning on going home after sacrament meeting since I don't feel well and I've got so much to do today, and the meeting just made me want to go home more because these special people were so beautiful and sweet and I knew I'd feel more awkward and alone around my own ward than these kind disabled souls.

What's an ex-girlfriend/best friend/"the only person that understands" to do when it appears he's broken up with girl number three? I want to call him so very badly and inevitably tell him that he's not a terrible person and that he tried his best and promise again that I will always love him and be there for him. But I am just so scared of him shutting me down, not giving me the opportunity to say anything. We've barely spoken these past few weeks and haven't had a real conversation in months. I want to help him, but I fear my time has passed...

Things to mull over while I work on my creative project, hurriedly call a captain to find our their opinions of leadership, write papers on my projects, type up a résumé, clean my bathroom that mimics something seen on "Hoarders," read a substantial amount of scriptures, finish my math homework and study for the test tomorrow, and watch Once Upon a Time. Whoo hoo.